We're All Just Floatin' Around, All Accidental Like.

I watched Forrest Gump last night for the first time since I was a little kid. And sorry I'm 15 years too late in saying it, but that movie is awesome. I love when Forrest will say something to someone he's talking to at the bus stop, and then someone will say what he just said, like in the re-living of his life. Made me chuckle every time.
But the last part of the movie was really memorable, when he was talking to Jenny at her grave. And he says, paraphrasing, going through life is a combination of destiny and floatin' around, all accidental like. And he talks about all the beautiful things he saw when he was running through America, and in Vietnam and stuff. It really made me appreciate everyone I have. And for some reason the thought of me just floating around in the world and happening upon such beautiful people is really cool to me. And now that I think of it, I can remember most of the times I met all the people I care about, and it kind of seems like I just ran into them, in retrospect. Like we all floated up to each other at some point and after that, it just seemed natural we wouldn't float away.
On the other side of the spectrum, too, I float by tons of people at school and have no problem floating by those people. I love my friends, is what I'm getting at.
One more thing I thought about after watching Forrest Gump is that I want to move to the South eventually. That movie made it look really pretty to me. And I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this already in an earlier blog post, but the movie made me want to see more natural beauty. Instead of backpacking around Europe when I graduate college, I think I want to just drive through every state in the US and see all the natural beauty I can see. And probably drink at a lot of different bars and eat a bunch of weird food.

School

So, so far I kind of like school. Pretty abnormal for me. But it's early in the year, everything is easy, and it's not as hot. And I've grown some nuts and started getting to school early enough to find parking to I'm not complaining about parking in an adjacent neighborhood to Grossmont before school. Which is fucking retarded. I hope you guys don't get tired of me saying everything's fucking retarded. I just wish that the school system would only allow as many students to add classes as there are parking spots.
Anyway, here's why I like school right now. All my teachers are guys, for one. Call me a chauvinist, but I tend to like male teachers better than female ones. I can probably just relate to them more. My favorite class is beginning acting at Grossmont. Obviously because it's super easy. We play games, basically, to get us warmed up and ready to express ourselves. And during these exercises the teacher sometimes gets kind of weird, and "acting-teachery." Example: first day I went to class (I missed the first day, I slept through it), we did relaxation exercises where we were able to "feel every part of our body" and "think about the tool with which we would channel characters." I'm paraphrasing, but my teacher said things very close along those lines. When I was lying down on the carpet, making raspberry sounds (blowing air out of my relaxed lips so they made an obnoxious fart sound. Yeah, super relaxing), I thought wow, this is fucking retarded. But hey, it beats the shit out of stats or bio. And then we started doing small scenes with assigned partners. And doing them and watching them was really fun. I've already talked to more people in that class than I have in all my college classes combined. And don't get me wrong, a lot of these kids are fucking weird. And annoying. But fuck it, I'm weird. And a change of pace is always appreciated.
All my other classes are pretty run-of-the-mill. Only thing cool about them is that my 2 classes at state are taught by really nerdy guys. And really nerdy guys are funny. Usually. In this case, they're cool. And I will only have to buy 1, maybe 2 books for this semester, so I'm super psyched. So here's to the new semester. I will miss Summer break and everyone that makes breaks so Goddamn fun.

Watched The Other Guys Tonight

The movie was really weird. It was an over-the-top action comedy and it was very funny at times but also had some times where I really wasn't feeling the movie. I left the movie, though, still thinking Will Ferrell is hilarious. Some people were saying he kinda lost it. I disagree. Wait for that movie to come out on video and you'll see (I dunno if it's worth 10 bucks. I liked it, just not 10 bucks liked it). Weirdest part was the credits just running some figures and numbers at you about how much corporate greed has grown in the last decade or 2. Seriously, the credits had statistics in it about how much money CEO's make now and how much they used to make. And the disparity between the average worker's salary and a CEO's. Which I found very interesting and tought-provoking, but after watching a movie where 3 guys comically commit suicide and homeless people have several orgies in a prius, you'd imagine me being perplexed. Funny movie though, don't get me wrong.

So here's what I'm thinking. I think that the big people in this world are too big. There are companies that are too big to go out of business. They literally have so much fucking money that if they failed, so would our economy. And there are people that head those corporations. I wanna know how that guy sleeps at night because it must be very good sleep. I would totally buy a memory foam mattress if I could afford it, those things are awesome. I don't really know where I'm going with this subject, other than saying it's retarded how rich some people get. I can't imagine having so much money that I literally could not spend it all. Makes me want to do something really drastic and revolutionary but I realize that the system works for a lot of people and I have no idea if there's a system that would work better. And I just don't want to turn into a tree-hugging faggot.

One more thought. One night, like a week ago or something I had a dream where I was lucid, like I knew I was dreaming, and I had a thought along the lines of, "in Inception, they did this, so I should do this too!" And I don't remember what I did. But I do remember having water thrown at me and then I caught it because I was like, I'm dreaming, I can do anything. So I fashioned the water into a sword and fought something. I'm pretty sure it was a creature of some kind who was also throwing fish or some kind of giant bugs at me. Which is funny now that I think about it again, because in the dream I caught them and just tossed them to the side, but in real life I would get grossed out and just try to dodge them because I hate bugs and I hate the smell and feel of fish.

This Was A While Ago But I'm Writing More Often. At Least For Now.

So a while ago I went to the shooting range with my dad and little brother. He is 13 now. He's going into high school this coming semester because he skipped 1st grade, he's young for a high schooler. Not only that, I'm pretty sure he is immature for his grade. I really don't know much about him. The other day I asked him what was going on in his life and he basically said nothing. And I said, and I'm paraphrasing, "You don't wanna tell me about your life? I'm your brother and I barely know you." To which he said, in his fucking annoying little sarcastic drawling voice, "Okay..." I don't blame older generations for thinking that newer ones are losing feelings for family and the good things in life. Families used to gather around radios and listen to broadcasts together, that sounds disgusting to me. And now I want to talk about my brother's life with him and he just shrugs me off. Me not knowing about his life has no gravity for him. Fuck it he can have his own life then.

Anyway. I went to the shooting range with my dad and brother, because my dad wants to get some kind of security guard certification where he can carry a gun on duty, it pays more I assume. so we go to P2K (Project 2o00) on Willow Glen or Dehesa, whatever the street. And that place is kind of eye opening. I walked in there, took a really easy test and I was certified to shoot a gun. No class, no training, no questions to see if I'm insane or not.
So we go into the range and shoot my dad's hand guns. My brother shoots one round and says he doesn't like the gun exploding in his face. So he sits the rest of the shooting out. We even try to coax him that the other hand gun that he didn't shoot was less smoky and easier to handle. He insisted that if it exploded in his face, he wasn't going to shoot a gun. And who can argue that a real-life hand gun wouldn't explode in his face?
What I was thinking about was this. I think we should have a little bit more strict gun control laws in this country. I'm all for protecting the Constitution. Our country was founded in great thanks to militia with muskets. We are entitled to weapons in our home, and we have a document that backs that up. But some of the guns I saw in the shooting range gun shop shouldn't be outside of military or high-level police hands. Some of these guns were meant to kill many people at one time. Like in a military sense. Now, if we were to justify the Constitution in the sense that I just defended it, we could say that the better the guns we have in gun shops, the better our militia would be. If we were invaded, I'm pretty sure our weapons would be just as good as any military's. That's no exaggeration. But I think we need to think within reason. We already have a really good military. Our need for a militia is very small. We don't need giant assault rifles or shotguns.
Here is the worst-case scenario I thought up that could happen because of our poor gun control. I go in the gun shop and rent one of those giant guns. I'm not sure that I can necessarily, but I'm pretty sure I could, just to shoot it. I could go shoot a couple rounds, then kill everyone in the range and go on a rampage on Rancho. I'm not saying I would, I love Rancho. But who's to say a looney wouldn't roll into Rancho? Just saying. Gun control.
Also, good for the gays for Prop 8 being overturned. Go get married.

I Dunno, I Think About Weird Stuff.

I was thinking about the fate of humanity a lot lately. That and death. And the meaning of life. And the more I think about it, I kind of wish I was religious because I would be a lot less cynical about things. I believe in the idea that we all just exist and we are here for worldly pleasures. But we have really advanced cerebral thought so we have guilt complexes about indulging in worldly pleasures and stuff. And we wonder if this is all life is. I'm fine with that though, I guess. A lot of worldly pleasures are great. Feeling love is great, family is great (usually), and having a good time with your best friends is great. This is what I live for. Recently though, there are some other things I want to start living for.
I want to play sports again. And I'm less than ambitious and less than in shape, so doing this competitively may not pan out. Not only that, I work 30 hours a week and will be going to school again (not something I like living for), so this could just be one of those things I'll grow up saying I wish I pursued more adamantly.
The other thing is I want to see every beautiful place I possibly can. I have come to notice more often how pretty San Diego is. Even East County. Call me biased, but the scenery of Rancho San Diego can be really nice. It used to be just a big rural horse ranch, cowboys must have come out here to get away from it all in the majestic mountain scenery and have sex with each other in their tents.
Point is, I want to see what the world has to offer. I don't really care about making lots of money but if it means I have to do that to see the beauty of the world, I will. And I'll probably have to have some money if I'm going to have sex with women. Because God knows I won't get any making blog posts like this one.

Complete side note I wanted to blog about. If you are at a restaurant and you have something in your teeth, good for you for having a little floss stick with which you can hold a piece of plastic and floss your teeth with ease. But please, go to the bathroom and use it. I'm sure the people at your table would appreciate that too. And lastly, if you fail to excuse yourself from the table to get the shit out of your teeth, have the decency to throw your floss stick away yourself after using it. Bus boys at Old Town Mexican Cafe might just be bus boys but we also know a trashy fuck when we see their trashy remains left on their table. I've worked there a whole month and a half and I've found 2 floss sticks. Come on guys.

My Perfect Life

I want to find a place fairly close to San Diego that is very rural and beautiful. Like the type of beauty that you see in pictures in a travel agent's office. But a place that no one knows about, so if I lived there, I wouldn't have to deal with tourists littering my beautiful town. I want this place to have a small town center where I can buy stuff and see everybody who lives in the town. These people are rural, so they'll probably be Jesus freaks, but in my fantasy, nobody is crazy enough to put the Ten Commandments on a rock on the side of the road on their property. They just love God and that's it. And in this town, everyone has trucks, but not anything bigger than an F-250. And everybody drives the speed limit. And if someone behind them wants to drive faster than the speed limit, they let that person pass them.
And in this town, there's a diner. It's the only restaurant in town, but it has the best cobbler of any flavor you have ever tasted. And it has BBQ that makes you cream your pants when you think about it. Truckers take a longer route in delivering stuff just to come here. And the guy that owns the diner hooks all the locals up with great deals sometimes, and talks to the people in the town, and his wife is a waitress and she's the nicest lady you'll ever meet and calls everybody stuff like sugar pie and sweet pea. She has a really warm country accent.
So once I find this town, I'm going to run away there. I'm going to buy Hunting for Dummies, Farming for Dummies, and Carpenting for Dummies. I'm going to buy a run-down cottage on the hillside of the town, about a 5 minute drive into the town center. I'm going to have a view of mountains behind a lake with tons of trees around. I'm going to read all my books, plant some veggies and fruit, fix up my house, and the only time I'm not eating food I've grown or killed, I'll go to the diner, or get a little something fast from the market in town. Realistically, I'd probably go to the diner and market a lot, but living off of my own farming and hunting just sounds cool.
And then most of my nights will be spent watching the sun set behind the mountains, while I sit in a rocking chair I made on my porch. And I'll get a dog and sit with him and throw him a stick every once in a while. And I'll see my family and friends all the time, and I'll offer to come drive anywhere but everybody just wants to come to my house because it's perfect. And I just happened to get really good at carpenting and made a little guest house on my property with 2 bedrooms. I decide to become a carpenter for a living, there's good money in it because everybody's houses are made out of wood.
And I'll find myself the perfect country woman. And she'll cook all the time so I cut the quick market meals out of my life. And we will make beautiful children and grow old and die in that cottage. We will travel the world, but come back to our home where we live in solitude until the end. I hope I die in my rocking chair I made, just looking at the mountains.

Summer Time and The Livin's Easy

I was walking into my house from work just now and realized it finally smells like Summer. I love the smell of Summer nights. I can't really say exactly what it smells like, it's just one of those smells I've come to know and really love. I guess it's probably the smell of hot grass. Because Palm Springs always smells super summery. And I only go there in Summer. And there is a lot of heat and grass there.
So this is where my life is right now. I have a new job, a new car, it's summer. I'm Rancho Citizen of the Month (thank you again for the fantastic honor), and here's the kicker. I actually like my job. I'll be honest, being a bus boy kind of sucks sometimes. You clean shit up, that kind of sucks. But on the real, I make good money, work hard, rarely talk to customers, and work with really nice people. Being fired from Outback was a beautiful demise. It made me not even want to work at a restaurant anymore. But I realized what I hated was waiting tables. And maybe that might be just because I worked at a place where serving sucks. I won't get into it too much, but all I'll say is this. I am never finding myself stopping what I'm doing at my new job and hyperventilating so I don't have a complete meltdown and start yelling at anyone. Or anything. At Outback there were a few times where I wanted to yell at the computer systems. And definitely some people I worked with. And definitely some customers.
Here are the differences with Outback and Old Town Mexican Cafe:
-OTMC has a lot more older people working there (late 20's, maybe 30's), and I think that actually has some difference on the work ethic. Lots of people at OTMC joke about the work ethic of the other servers there, but I think they would be surprised how bad it is at other places.
-Most people at OTMC do not go to school (at least in my observation), so for many people, this is what they actually wake up everyday to do (another reason why I think the work ethic is different at OTMC).
-Here is the main difference. I feel like I have much more in common with people at Outback. We all grew up in the same area and most of us went to Valhalla at some point, so we have the same kind of background. At OTMC everybody is from different places and they have different senses of humor and I was really shy at first. But, at least with new people, I think OTMC people are more friendly. I've already been invited to a strip club and house parties. I wasn't invited anywhere at Outback for a long time.
Do I miss Outback? I miss everybody that works there a lot. I feel like they were a big part of my life for a long time. But I am generally happier where I work now a lot more. I'm more appreciated. Just to toot my own horn a bit: my manager who works at Lips restaurant on Wednesday nights as a drag queen said I'm the best thing that's happened to this retaurant. Are you kidding me? I would've never heard that at Outback. So, in short, fuck off Outback, I've moved on. And fuck off bad economy, I'm recession proof.