I Saw A Guy Last Night With Pauly D. Hair

I just had a Facebook conversation with Ryan Guzman about Jersey Shore, some of you may or may not have seen it. It quickly prompted me to want to write about that stupid fucking show.
Now, let me just say, I've seen very little of the show. I saw the reunion episode of the first season, that's the only complete episode I've ever seen. But from what I gather, it's about normal guidos from Jersey going to clubs and hanging out, hooking up, and coming up with (or just repeating what they've heard in Jersey, I don't know what their culture is like) catchy phrases or buzz words that have to do with clubbing or whatever they do. And of course they're entertaining to watch because they're obnoxious and dramatic and all that. It's like juiced up "The Real World," and yeah, pun intended.
Anyway, last night I went to the Junction where I was drinking with my male friends, complaining about how loud the music was and not trying to fuck skanks with too much make-up on. We were playing shuffle board. And even if we wanted to find some skanks to fuck so that we can try and satiate our insecure egos, there were none. There were middle-aged East County women playing pool. And a girl with her boyfriend that looked like she was twelve. That being said, there was a group of guys in there dressed like they were in a club. And one of them had Pauly D. hair.



















Just in case you don't know what his hair looks like, there it is. It looks like action figure hair on a G.I. Joe. And who puts the word "Cadillac" on their body, to remain there for the rest of their life? What if Cadillac goes out of business and in 20 years no one knows what a Cadillac (or Pauly D., by the way) is? He'll be like, "Oh yeah, back in da day, deese cars were da shit. Dey were awesome man, dey stood for quality. So I was like, yeah, I'm quality piece of ass ya know, so I got it tattooed on my side like dat. Did I mention I was a reality TV star? We should knock boots."

Fuck you, Pauly D. And fuck the show, "Jersey Shore". I'm sure not everyone in Jersey Shore is as big of a douche bag as you and the rest of your untalented crew of fuckfaces.