People Suck

In part because of the urban politics class I'm taking, and in part because I've always had this opinion, I have recently been remembering that I just don't like most people in the world. In the politics class we are learning about how the general public gets what it wants, and things like that, and the general public is selfish and very uncompromising. This is very obvious in controversial issues, like religious debates and whatnot. I respect your opinion, but please, just realize that there are millions of people who disagree with you, and would be equally unhappy as you if they didn't get their way. I think this translates into the problem of our political system being so polarized with Republicans and Democrats, and I've become very against political parties. I will never associate myself with one, and the founding fathers were actually very against political parties because they understood the importance of compromise. I'm done talking about politics, I've just been thinking about them a lot, clearly. I'll just say one more thing, and that's fuck politics.
More importantly why I'm writing about why people suck is an experience I had the morning (afternoon) after waking up at Grant's house in North Park. My dad had a house in North Park when I was little, and I wanted to drive by it and see it. It was weird because I didn't remember the street, or how to get there but by driving around, I saw stuff I recognized and just found it. First I saw a park I used to go play at, and then a block with a liqour store I would go to with these twins, Cassandra and Yvette, they lived in the apartment complex right next to my dad's house. We would go in there all the time and get candy and play the arcade game there, pretty sure it was pac man and other really old games. And across from that was a coffee shop where we would steal sugar cubes. And I felt really bad doing it, but if I saw a little kid being all sneaky and stealing sugar cubes where I worked, I imagine it looked pretty funny.
So that was right around the corner of my dad's house, and when I pulled in front of it, I didn't recognize it. Not because it had been so long, but because there was shit all over the roof, the lawn and bushes were overgrown and brown. And there was a big dirty motor home parked in the driveway. And obviously, I immediately thought, awesome, a redneck asshole lives here. And then I thought about having to water the lawn all the time, and hating it, but at least our lawn looked like we cared about it. And I just felt so weird that I had all these good memories about that house and now it's just this shitty looking house where some asshole lives. And I don't blame old people for being so hateful toward young people. They probably feel like they worked all their lives to make an honest living and keep a good home and be friendly to people, and here comes a new generation that is constantly texting and not caring about spending time with their families. It's like shitting on the values they thought were so important. A little bit different scenario, sure, but that may happen when we're old. We could live in a house all our lives, mow our lawn, raise a beautiful family, and love that house, and then we leave and the next guy comes along and fucks it all up. It could happen that the house goes to another lovely family, sure. But the reality of seeing a piece of my childhood in that sort of state was off-putting and these are the thoughts that came to mind. I guess I'm saying that we should just all be respectful of the fact that we live with other people in the world. We gotta worry about us, but when does that become ego-centric? And when are we pissing people off because we shat on someone's childhood house, or because we seem like selfish assholes? Everybody is angry and everybody else, but everybody is a douche bag. People suck. I'm out.

Chicken Soup

Just when I was pressed for something to blog about, I had a really weird night at work. First, as a side note, I may have complained about this guy I work with every week sucking, and it makes bussing hard for me. I didn't tell any bosses because I would feel extremely bad if he got demoted or something because I complained about him being slow. And I didn't have the heart to say, "Hey, you're really slow. And a lot of the things that you do, you don't have to do yet. It can wait while we have tables." But, somehow, something clicked, and he's normal now. I dunno if someone said something to him or what, but not only do I like him as a person, but it's cool working with him now. And I say this because sometimes, you don't have to be a dick. You can just let someone figure something out for themselves. And now, he doesn't think I'm an asshole for telling him he sucks, and he still has his good shifts. Pacifism is not always that bad.
Anyway, tonight I was working with the aforementioned guy, Trevor. It was a normal Sunday, kinda slow, he was going to bus a table, I was following a few steps behind him. I round the corner of the bus station, and there's Trevor, giving the Heimlich maneuver to this girl. And there is the girl's boyfriend, I guess he didn't know what to do, because he was standing there, with his hand on the girl's arm, like giving moral support. What do you do when a loved one is kind of in danger of dying, and you don't know how to help? So Trevor is giving her a few heave-hos and realizes it's not working. I'm watching what's happening, but not interfering, and when he stops giving the Heimlich, he looks at me and says, "She's choking." He is always calm, and kind of monotone, even though he's about my age. So I guessed it was my turn to give it a shot, and stepped up, mounting this strange girl as she choked on a tortilla chip, standing over her table. While I was standing there, kind of recalling what to do from CPR classes in high school, I remembered the diaphragm has to be pushed. So I guessed where it was, gave her a good tug in the belly, and she made a weird sound like I hurt her, so I stopped. But then she started breathing, so all I said was, "All good?" And I kind of heard silence, and that was good enough for me. She sat down, and I kept working. It was then that I realized how much of an adrenaline rush I had gotten, because I was all jittery. But I was acting overly calm through the whole thing.
Another weird thing was that I wanted to go over to her, and be like, "Man, that was nuts!" But I felt like she would be embarrassed, and I didn't wanna seem like I was fishing for compliments and thank-yous. But I also felt weird not talking to her because I just shoved my fist into her belly from behind. Kind of an intimate maneuver, the Heimlich. And I got enough atta-boys from everyone at work, so I felt good that I helped someone out.
And another side note about work. There's a guy that works there as a manager sometimes, and sometimes as a server, and he's very unfriendly. He has a very deep voice, and looks, to me, like he could be a drug lord that kills little blond American girls and stuffs their bodies with drugs to smuggle across the border. He never initiates a hello to me, never tells me I'm doing a good job. And the only thing he tells me to do is make sure the bus station is swept up, and to check the bathroom. He's an over-payed babysitter. And then tonight, when all this happened, he came over to see if everything was ok, the girl was ordering food, and everything was normal. I assume that he was worried about that girl getting mad at us for choking on our food and suing us or something. But even when I gave a girl the Heimlich maneuver, he didn't say one thing to me. Nothing. Fucking asshole.

Just Another Rant

One of my readers (evidently the most consistent one) expressed that she felt that I complained about my life and wanted to live in a remote part of town because my life sucks. She was drunk, so maybe that skewed her expression of her thoughts, maybe it didn't. Or maybe that's what everyone thinks. I'll address that issue as such: at first, I thought that was ridiculous. I talk about things in this blog that bother me all the time, I think they're the most interesting things to write about. And I also wrote about moving to a farmer town because the idea of it sounds cool, just living off of what I produce myself, and living with genuinely nice people and just having a really simple life. I thought I mentioned this, maybe I didn't. I didn't double check before I wrote this, and I won't before I post this entry. I will say this though: ideally, living in a rural town and farming sounds cool. But it would probably suck. Which is why I think most people live in cities, and most people on TV in rural towns talk about getting the fuck out of whatever town they're in as an unattainable dream. But I was talking to Grant the other day (I dunno about what exactly), and he told me to look up interviews with Noam Chomsky, an author and linguistics professor at MIT. I did, and I actually found out why living in a rural town sounds cool, ideally.
In America, we know we are awesome. We live in, if not the best, one of the best countries in the world. But most of us know that comes at a price. Many would say that price is the lives lost that our soldiers bravely give defending it. Many would say it's the governmental/societal/natural/whatever douchey reason-oppression that keeps the poor poor and the rich rich. In my opinion, it's probably a mixture of both. But most of us are middle class, most of us are happy, and majority usually rules in a democracy, so whatever works, let's do it. And bear with me, here's my point. After watching Chomsky's interviews, it wasn't exactly eye-opening because I know that the US government, like most governments, does fucked up shit. But just hearing him cite instances where it definitely happened, and remembering, not realizing, that fucked up shit is a part of the world, I then realized that I would like to live in a rural town because I would ideally like to run away from fucked up shit. I don't want to remember that wars exist and they're part of life. And I want life to be simpler. And I want to live in a town where most people aren't douche bags, but if there are douche bags, you know exactly who they are and it's easy to avoid them. But sadly, there's a word for things you think about that sound really good in theory, but probably won't work out in real life, and that is ideal. So I have to find a way to live happily among fucked up shit and douche bags.
On a different note, I found out a while ago, I dunno how long, that my cousin, Jessica, was going to get married. I remember meeting her only once because her dad (my uncle Allen) and my grandpa don't talk, apparently because of some family feud regarding a restaurant they owned. So on top of being X miles away from them, there's family stuff involved, and I never see Allen and his kids.
So I'm on facebook tonight and on my news feed, I see one of my friends changed her profile picture and her name is Jessica Wathen. And I'm like, who the fuck is Jessica Wathen? Oh, my cousin...who apparently got married. Cool.
What the fuck is that shit? Fuck family feuds, they're stupid. I want to know what's going on with my family. I found out I have a relative-in-law by facebook pictures? Sad. Also, I don't even know how to pronounce my cousin's last name. Is it Wah-then or Way-then? Who the fuck knows, I don't talk to my family.

We're All Just Floatin' Around, All Accidental Like.

I watched Forrest Gump last night for the first time since I was a little kid. And sorry I'm 15 years too late in saying it, but that movie is awesome. I love when Forrest will say something to someone he's talking to at the bus stop, and then someone will say what he just said, like in the re-living of his life. Made me chuckle every time.
But the last part of the movie was really memorable, when he was talking to Jenny at her grave. And he says, paraphrasing, going through life is a combination of destiny and floatin' around, all accidental like. And he talks about all the beautiful things he saw when he was running through America, and in Vietnam and stuff. It really made me appreciate everyone I have. And for some reason the thought of me just floating around in the world and happening upon such beautiful people is really cool to me. And now that I think of it, I can remember most of the times I met all the people I care about, and it kind of seems like I just ran into them, in retrospect. Like we all floated up to each other at some point and after that, it just seemed natural we wouldn't float away.
On the other side of the spectrum, too, I float by tons of people at school and have no problem floating by those people. I love my friends, is what I'm getting at.
One more thing I thought about after watching Forrest Gump is that I want to move to the South eventually. That movie made it look really pretty to me. And I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this already in an earlier blog post, but the movie made me want to see more natural beauty. Instead of backpacking around Europe when I graduate college, I think I want to just drive through every state in the US and see all the natural beauty I can see. And probably drink at a lot of different bars and eat a bunch of weird food.

School

So, so far I kind of like school. Pretty abnormal for me. But it's early in the year, everything is easy, and it's not as hot. And I've grown some nuts and started getting to school early enough to find parking to I'm not complaining about parking in an adjacent neighborhood to Grossmont before school. Which is fucking retarded. I hope you guys don't get tired of me saying everything's fucking retarded. I just wish that the school system would only allow as many students to add classes as there are parking spots.
Anyway, here's why I like school right now. All my teachers are guys, for one. Call me a chauvinist, but I tend to like male teachers better than female ones. I can probably just relate to them more. My favorite class is beginning acting at Grossmont. Obviously because it's super easy. We play games, basically, to get us warmed up and ready to express ourselves. And during these exercises the teacher sometimes gets kind of weird, and "acting-teachery." Example: first day I went to class (I missed the first day, I slept through it), we did relaxation exercises where we were able to "feel every part of our body" and "think about the tool with which we would channel characters." I'm paraphrasing, but my teacher said things very close along those lines. When I was lying down on the carpet, making raspberry sounds (blowing air out of my relaxed lips so they made an obnoxious fart sound. Yeah, super relaxing), I thought wow, this is fucking retarded. But hey, it beats the shit out of stats or bio. And then we started doing small scenes with assigned partners. And doing them and watching them was really fun. I've already talked to more people in that class than I have in all my college classes combined. And don't get me wrong, a lot of these kids are fucking weird. And annoying. But fuck it, I'm weird. And a change of pace is always appreciated.
All my other classes are pretty run-of-the-mill. Only thing cool about them is that my 2 classes at state are taught by really nerdy guys. And really nerdy guys are funny. Usually. In this case, they're cool. And I will only have to buy 1, maybe 2 books for this semester, so I'm super psyched. So here's to the new semester. I will miss Summer break and everyone that makes breaks so Goddamn fun.

Watched The Other Guys Tonight

The movie was really weird. It was an over-the-top action comedy and it was very funny at times but also had some times where I really wasn't feeling the movie. I left the movie, though, still thinking Will Ferrell is hilarious. Some people were saying he kinda lost it. I disagree. Wait for that movie to come out on video and you'll see (I dunno if it's worth 10 bucks. I liked it, just not 10 bucks liked it). Weirdest part was the credits just running some figures and numbers at you about how much corporate greed has grown in the last decade or 2. Seriously, the credits had statistics in it about how much money CEO's make now and how much they used to make. And the disparity between the average worker's salary and a CEO's. Which I found very interesting and tought-provoking, but after watching a movie where 3 guys comically commit suicide and homeless people have several orgies in a prius, you'd imagine me being perplexed. Funny movie though, don't get me wrong.

So here's what I'm thinking. I think that the big people in this world are too big. There are companies that are too big to go out of business. They literally have so much fucking money that if they failed, so would our economy. And there are people that head those corporations. I wanna know how that guy sleeps at night because it must be very good sleep. I would totally buy a memory foam mattress if I could afford it, those things are awesome. I don't really know where I'm going with this subject, other than saying it's retarded how rich some people get. I can't imagine having so much money that I literally could not spend it all. Makes me want to do something really drastic and revolutionary but I realize that the system works for a lot of people and I have no idea if there's a system that would work better. And I just don't want to turn into a tree-hugging faggot.

One more thought. One night, like a week ago or something I had a dream where I was lucid, like I knew I was dreaming, and I had a thought along the lines of, "in Inception, they did this, so I should do this too!" And I don't remember what I did. But I do remember having water thrown at me and then I caught it because I was like, I'm dreaming, I can do anything. So I fashioned the water into a sword and fought something. I'm pretty sure it was a creature of some kind who was also throwing fish or some kind of giant bugs at me. Which is funny now that I think about it again, because in the dream I caught them and just tossed them to the side, but in real life I would get grossed out and just try to dodge them because I hate bugs and I hate the smell and feel of fish.

This Was A While Ago But I'm Writing More Often. At Least For Now.

So a while ago I went to the shooting range with my dad and little brother. He is 13 now. He's going into high school this coming semester because he skipped 1st grade, he's young for a high schooler. Not only that, I'm pretty sure he is immature for his grade. I really don't know much about him. The other day I asked him what was going on in his life and he basically said nothing. And I said, and I'm paraphrasing, "You don't wanna tell me about your life? I'm your brother and I barely know you." To which he said, in his fucking annoying little sarcastic drawling voice, "Okay..." I don't blame older generations for thinking that newer ones are losing feelings for family and the good things in life. Families used to gather around radios and listen to broadcasts together, that sounds disgusting to me. And now I want to talk about my brother's life with him and he just shrugs me off. Me not knowing about his life has no gravity for him. Fuck it he can have his own life then.

Anyway. I went to the shooting range with my dad and brother, because my dad wants to get some kind of security guard certification where he can carry a gun on duty, it pays more I assume. so we go to P2K (Project 2o00) on Willow Glen or Dehesa, whatever the street. And that place is kind of eye opening. I walked in there, took a really easy test and I was certified to shoot a gun. No class, no training, no questions to see if I'm insane or not.
So we go into the range and shoot my dad's hand guns. My brother shoots one round and says he doesn't like the gun exploding in his face. So he sits the rest of the shooting out. We even try to coax him that the other hand gun that he didn't shoot was less smoky and easier to handle. He insisted that if it exploded in his face, he wasn't going to shoot a gun. And who can argue that a real-life hand gun wouldn't explode in his face?
What I was thinking about was this. I think we should have a little bit more strict gun control laws in this country. I'm all for protecting the Constitution. Our country was founded in great thanks to militia with muskets. We are entitled to weapons in our home, and we have a document that backs that up. But some of the guns I saw in the shooting range gun shop shouldn't be outside of military or high-level police hands. Some of these guns were meant to kill many people at one time. Like in a military sense. Now, if we were to justify the Constitution in the sense that I just defended it, we could say that the better the guns we have in gun shops, the better our militia would be. If we were invaded, I'm pretty sure our weapons would be just as good as any military's. That's no exaggeration. But I think we need to think within reason. We already have a really good military. Our need for a militia is very small. We don't need giant assault rifles or shotguns.
Here is the worst-case scenario I thought up that could happen because of our poor gun control. I go in the gun shop and rent one of those giant guns. I'm not sure that I can necessarily, but I'm pretty sure I could, just to shoot it. I could go shoot a couple rounds, then kill everyone in the range and go on a rampage on Rancho. I'm not saying I would, I love Rancho. But who's to say a looney wouldn't roll into Rancho? Just saying. Gun control.
Also, good for the gays for Prop 8 being overturned. Go get married.

I Dunno, I Think About Weird Stuff.

I was thinking about the fate of humanity a lot lately. That and death. And the meaning of life. And the more I think about it, I kind of wish I was religious because I would be a lot less cynical about things. I believe in the idea that we all just exist and we are here for worldly pleasures. But we have really advanced cerebral thought so we have guilt complexes about indulging in worldly pleasures and stuff. And we wonder if this is all life is. I'm fine with that though, I guess. A lot of worldly pleasures are great. Feeling love is great, family is great (usually), and having a good time with your best friends is great. This is what I live for. Recently though, there are some other things I want to start living for.
I want to play sports again. And I'm less than ambitious and less than in shape, so doing this competitively may not pan out. Not only that, I work 30 hours a week and will be going to school again (not something I like living for), so this could just be one of those things I'll grow up saying I wish I pursued more adamantly.
The other thing is I want to see every beautiful place I possibly can. I have come to notice more often how pretty San Diego is. Even East County. Call me biased, but the scenery of Rancho San Diego can be really nice. It used to be just a big rural horse ranch, cowboys must have come out here to get away from it all in the majestic mountain scenery and have sex with each other in their tents.
Point is, I want to see what the world has to offer. I don't really care about making lots of money but if it means I have to do that to see the beauty of the world, I will. And I'll probably have to have some money if I'm going to have sex with women. Because God knows I won't get any making blog posts like this one.

Complete side note I wanted to blog about. If you are at a restaurant and you have something in your teeth, good for you for having a little floss stick with which you can hold a piece of plastic and floss your teeth with ease. But please, go to the bathroom and use it. I'm sure the people at your table would appreciate that too. And lastly, if you fail to excuse yourself from the table to get the shit out of your teeth, have the decency to throw your floss stick away yourself after using it. Bus boys at Old Town Mexican Cafe might just be bus boys but we also know a trashy fuck when we see their trashy remains left on their table. I've worked there a whole month and a half and I've found 2 floss sticks. Come on guys.

My Perfect Life

I want to find a place fairly close to San Diego that is very rural and beautiful. Like the type of beauty that you see in pictures in a travel agent's office. But a place that no one knows about, so if I lived there, I wouldn't have to deal with tourists littering my beautiful town. I want this place to have a small town center where I can buy stuff and see everybody who lives in the town. These people are rural, so they'll probably be Jesus freaks, but in my fantasy, nobody is crazy enough to put the Ten Commandments on a rock on the side of the road on their property. They just love God and that's it. And in this town, everyone has trucks, but not anything bigger than an F-250. And everybody drives the speed limit. And if someone behind them wants to drive faster than the speed limit, they let that person pass them.
And in this town, there's a diner. It's the only restaurant in town, but it has the best cobbler of any flavor you have ever tasted. And it has BBQ that makes you cream your pants when you think about it. Truckers take a longer route in delivering stuff just to come here. And the guy that owns the diner hooks all the locals up with great deals sometimes, and talks to the people in the town, and his wife is a waitress and she's the nicest lady you'll ever meet and calls everybody stuff like sugar pie and sweet pea. She has a really warm country accent.
So once I find this town, I'm going to run away there. I'm going to buy Hunting for Dummies, Farming for Dummies, and Carpenting for Dummies. I'm going to buy a run-down cottage on the hillside of the town, about a 5 minute drive into the town center. I'm going to have a view of mountains behind a lake with tons of trees around. I'm going to read all my books, plant some veggies and fruit, fix up my house, and the only time I'm not eating food I've grown or killed, I'll go to the diner, or get a little something fast from the market in town. Realistically, I'd probably go to the diner and market a lot, but living off of my own farming and hunting just sounds cool.
And then most of my nights will be spent watching the sun set behind the mountains, while I sit in a rocking chair I made on my porch. And I'll get a dog and sit with him and throw him a stick every once in a while. And I'll see my family and friends all the time, and I'll offer to come drive anywhere but everybody just wants to come to my house because it's perfect. And I just happened to get really good at carpenting and made a little guest house on my property with 2 bedrooms. I decide to become a carpenter for a living, there's good money in it because everybody's houses are made out of wood.
And I'll find myself the perfect country woman. And she'll cook all the time so I cut the quick market meals out of my life. And we will make beautiful children and grow old and die in that cottage. We will travel the world, but come back to our home where we live in solitude until the end. I hope I die in my rocking chair I made, just looking at the mountains.

Summer Time and The Livin's Easy

I was walking into my house from work just now and realized it finally smells like Summer. I love the smell of Summer nights. I can't really say exactly what it smells like, it's just one of those smells I've come to know and really love. I guess it's probably the smell of hot grass. Because Palm Springs always smells super summery. And I only go there in Summer. And there is a lot of heat and grass there.
So this is where my life is right now. I have a new job, a new car, it's summer. I'm Rancho Citizen of the Month (thank you again for the fantastic honor), and here's the kicker. I actually like my job. I'll be honest, being a bus boy kind of sucks sometimes. You clean shit up, that kind of sucks. But on the real, I make good money, work hard, rarely talk to customers, and work with really nice people. Being fired from Outback was a beautiful demise. It made me not even want to work at a restaurant anymore. But I realized what I hated was waiting tables. And maybe that might be just because I worked at a place where serving sucks. I won't get into it too much, but all I'll say is this. I am never finding myself stopping what I'm doing at my new job and hyperventilating so I don't have a complete meltdown and start yelling at anyone. Or anything. At Outback there were a few times where I wanted to yell at the computer systems. And definitely some people I worked with. And definitely some customers.
Here are the differences with Outback and Old Town Mexican Cafe:
-OTMC has a lot more older people working there (late 20's, maybe 30's), and I think that actually has some difference on the work ethic. Lots of people at OTMC joke about the work ethic of the other servers there, but I think they would be surprised how bad it is at other places.
-Most people at OTMC do not go to school (at least in my observation), so for many people, this is what they actually wake up everyday to do (another reason why I think the work ethic is different at OTMC).
-Here is the main difference. I feel like I have much more in common with people at Outback. We all grew up in the same area and most of us went to Valhalla at some point, so we have the same kind of background. At OTMC everybody is from different places and they have different senses of humor and I was really shy at first. But, at least with new people, I think OTMC people are more friendly. I've already been invited to a strip club and house parties. I wasn't invited anywhere at Outback for a long time.
Do I miss Outback? I miss everybody that works there a lot. I feel like they were a big part of my life for a long time. But I am generally happier where I work now a lot more. I'm more appreciated. Just to toot my own horn a bit: my manager who works at Lips restaurant on Wednesday nights as a drag queen said I'm the best thing that's happened to this retaurant. Are you kidding me? I would've never heard that at Outback. So, in short, fuck off Outback, I've moved on. And fuck off bad economy, I'm recession proof.

Just Some Moments in the Life of Spencer Myers

So I house sat for Molly and her family while they went on a cruise. And I actually really enjoyed walking their dog, Chewy (I'm pretty sure it's spelled Chuy but I like the gringo spelling). When I was walking him I had one of those moments where I looked around and I was really appreciative of where I live. I was walking a dog in a quiet suburb with cloudless skies and perfect weather. I was walking in the street and nobody was honking at me. The mailman smiled and waved as he drove by, and I didn't know him. I realized that so many people want that in their lives, and I take it for granted a lot, that I live in a place where there are so many nice people amidst annoying East County Bros and assholes.
One day though, I was walking Chewy and I was waiting for cars to pass us on Fuerte so we could cross the street. This one car was bumping some music that sounded pretty cool, so I looked up so see who it was and it was a younger guy that I didn't know, but he threw up the hang loose at me. I kind of laughed, and thought that's kinda gay. But then I thought, you know what, that's kind of cool. What if he just drove around bumping his music, hoping for somebody to look at him, and everybody who did, he was like, "Yeah, you like that? Tight huh? Hang loose buddy." That guy knows what the finer things in life are, and I salute him.

My Bout With Anti-Productivity

So I got fired from my job. It's a weird feeling. I've been fired before, when I worked at Da Boyz, but I absolutely hated that job and the boss was apparently a pedophile so I wasn't losing sleep over it. I was also in high school and didn't have to pay anything. Now, I just bought a new car (which I fucking love. I might marry it) and I'm broke, thanks to spending everything I make and going to Vegas and bars and restaurants everyday. Sounds like a hyperbole but I was going to a restaurant probably everyday. Stupid. I dunno if I could say that I'm fueling the economy, because I feel like I am. But I also know that everybody in our country being in debt is a problem, and I'm part of that too. But who cares, I am blogging because of my personal struggles not economics. Which I have come to hate, by the way.
First, I want to make my official statement for anyone who hasn't heard that I am no longer an Outback employee. If there is still anyone that would care to know why I don't work there anymore, just refer them to my blog and they'll find out. I got fired because I was taking care of another server's tables while he was on break and I forgot about 2 of them. One of them walked out on their bill. The week before this, I was suspended because one of my own table's food order was lost in the kitchen and I wasn't proactive soon enough in asking where their food was. I was making too many mistakes, so I got the boot. Cold bloodeeeed.
Now, rewinding a bit, I find myself with a pimp new ride, a nice chunk of debt and no income. And I like to eat and drink. And looking for jobs sucks reeeaally bad. I was talking to my stepmom about it, who is also looking for a job. There is no personal connection in finding a job these days. I put on a shirt and tie and just applied to a couple places and most just told me to fill out an online application. They don't even say, "Hey, how refreshing to see a guy who cares enough to get all dressed up and come see me! I guess I can talk for five minutes, what's your name?" No, they just tell me to get in line like everyone else. Which could lead to a philisophical debate. Has myspace and facebook influenced the way we get jobs? Are we just what we look like on an online application? How does that have more value than me coming in looking all spiffy? And the more important thing is, I would be able to talk to the damn guy about myself, I have people skills for God's sake.
And this is a good time to talk about online applications. FUCK ONLINE APPLICATIONS. Stupidest fucking thing I've ever done. Asking me a bunch of questions, many of them the same question, just reworded, and many of them have a very obvious answer. Which I suppose is better than the questions where all of the responses seem wrong, but there's apparently a least retarded answer. I would rather take a fucking econ test. And I would much rather talk to a manager about why I am a good employee. What do they get fucking paid for anyway?
Anyway, I now have a great respect for the men and women supporting families that are trying to find a job. It wouldn't be easy in the first place, and now we have to do stupid online applications and hope our responses to retarded fucking scenarios stand out in some way. Another thing that I thought about is applying for unemployment. And it's weird because when I had a job, I was like, "Man, if I didn't have a job I'd just go apply for unemployment, it's free money." And now I have these potential feelings of shame holding me back from that. I would actually feel a terrible loss of pride if I had to come to that. I mean I've been a loyal taxpayer, so I kind of did my part in earning that money, but in a sense it's everyone else that's taking care of me too. It would feel like I lost. But hey, I got bills to pay.

Watched Two Movies Last Night Worth Blogging About

I had the great pleasure of watching two movies last night at my friend Grant Glibert's house, while drinking a little franzia and a lot of MGD 64. MGD 64, by the way, is pointless to drink. I drank just as many calories of that beer as I would have drunk with a non-pussy beer because it's literally like hops-flavored water. Anyway. The first movie we watched was called Equilibrium, starring Christian Bale. It's a futuristic story where all the world governments want to stop war from happening after WWIII devastated the planet. To stop war from happening, they mandate that everyone has to take a medication that doesn't allow them to have any feelings whatsoever, so they won't feel angry enough to fight anyone, so there won't ever be another war. But to do this, they kill everyone that doesn't take their medication. So it's like the War on Terror, it's just a War on Feelings. This movie was definitely laughable at times, Christian Bale was kinda weird. But to be honest, it had really badass fighting scenes. They were all trained in gun-martial arts. That's right karate with guns. Watch it and tell me it isn't cool. The thing that was thought provoking, though, was how pointless life would be without being able to feel. It seems like I might not ever think about it because I doubt that my ability to feel emotions will ever be compromised. But the movie actually made me feel appreciative of feelings, so bravo, Equilibrium.
After being pleasantly surprised with Equilibrium, we watched Drag Me To Hell, starring some girl and Justin Long. This was literally the worst movie I've ever seen. Sam Raimi directed it. I was amazed at how disgustingly terrible this movie was. It's about a curse that's put on a bank teller, Christine, the main character, because she won't give this old lady, Miss Ganush, an extension on her loan for the third fucking time. Miss Ganush doesn't have any rational thought about the bank having to run a business, that she should find a way to pay her mortgage, or find somewhere else to live. She just wants her house, and if no one can just give her what she wants, she's going to haunt this bank teller and pull her hair out and throw up various things in her face. More on that later.
Ganush makes a huge scene in the bank when she doesn't get the extension, putting a curse on Christine very noisily and then lunging at her trying to choke her. Then she feels ashamed, and blames it on Christine. Later, Ganush follows Christine to her car in the parking garage and tries to kill her. At one point Ganush's dentures fall out, but she still tries to bite Christine's mouth. Yeah, bite her mouth. Super awkward way of killing someone. While she's gumming at Christine's face, she like burps up a huge gob of green shit into Christine's face. Christine is trying to smash her car into something and make Ganush go flying out, which kind of works. At that point Ganush gets sick of trying to kill her for the time being and goes away.
I could go on and on, but there are two more scenes at least where Ganush gets her mouth on Christine's face and throws some body fluids up on her. Both of these times Ganush was dead. Now that I think of it, there was a third time, but it was only a dream, and Ganush throws up worms and body fluid into Christine's face. Fucking retarded.
I'll try and sum up the rest of the movie quickly. Christine digs up Ganush's grave to give her a button that is carrying the actual curse on Christine. Ganush throws up in her face, there's a flash flood and the grave fills up with water. Christine almost drowns because Ganush's grave falls and hits her on the head. Luckily, she gets out OK though and goes home and hits the shower. Christine is on the way to the train station with her boyfriend, Justin Long, who is going to propose to her. Long story short, Christine gave Ganush the wrong white envelope, it had her boyfriend's valuable collectible quarter in it instead of the cursed button. When Christine finds this out, she trips out, falls onto the train tracks where a train is about to hit her, but is sucked into Hell before the train hits her. Justin Long is without a fiancee AND his valuable collectible quarter. The movie ends here, but I forgot to mention that Christine used to be a fat pig farmer, her dad died a while back and her mom doesn't talk to people because she's an alcoholic.
I am so glad I never paid to see this movie, I would literally drag Sam Raimi into Hell with me.

Just Watched Legion, and Before I Know It, I'm Writing a Super Long Rant About Religion

Legion is a movie about God exterminating humans in the present day because he had enough of us sucking. Again. When I started watching it, I was expecting like a war movie with the main character from Avatar, because I got Legion mixed up with Clash of the Titans, I think. You could imagine my confusion as I was watching this English guy kill demons in present day New York. I was like wait, this is gonna be like a time travel movie, where demons form an army and fight the Avatar guy? Kinda funny. Anyway, I ended up not liking the movie. It did start making me think about religion though, so here's to my first post of the new year!
So in the movie, God is exterminating mankind with angels. Satan and demons never come into play. God orders his army of angels to kill everybody, but very specifically a white trash girl's baby, because it's the hope for all mankind. So, God doesn't want a couple humans staying alive like roaches and starting over again, he wants every last hope for humans to be gone. And the only angel who disagrees with this is Michael, who disobeys God and starts killing the angels that are posessing weak-willed humans, who are then killing all the strong-willed humans who have to be physically killed, because they're too good of people to just be possessed by angels.
I definitely have a problem with that. The only person in heaven that said, "God, this is wrong," was Michael. And in the end, spoiler alert, Michael ends up dying defending the white trash baby, going back to heaven, and then coming back as an angel again and saving mankind because God saw the light, and realized he should keep humans around.
In all seriousness, I thought it was kind of a cool movie until that happened. God is God. He is omniscient, he created existence and knows what is going to happen and every detail about every single person, like Santa Clause. But when God goes around killing people, there is one merciful angel who says, "God, there is still hope for mankind. Look, these people are good." God's like, "No I don't care, I want everybody dead, including that white trash baby." And then Michael dies for mankind, goes back to heaven, and God's like, "You know what Michael, I guess you were right. That mechanic is a really good guy. And so was Tyrese, he died trying to save a little kid. Go save that white trash baby." Boom, everything's OK. So fucking stupid.
First of all, God, you made everything and every person. You're omniscient (you know exactly what every single person you make is going to do, and how they're going to turn out), so why would you just kill all those people in the first place? Second of all, I understand that people are shitty. I honestly think there are more shitty people than good people. So if you're going to kill every single human, fine. But don't stop halfway and say, "Oh shoot, I just can't kill the good ol' southern folk, they're just so friendly." Like after that, all the humans are gonna be like "Yay! We can live again, God is so good!" But he was going to kill you! How can you go back to worshiping the dick who ruined life as humans knew it? In the end, the white trash baby was alive, thanks to Michael telling God to fuck off, so awesome, everything's good. Dumb.
That being said, I would just like to say that everybody can believe whatever they want, I don't care. If you're happy and it's not hurting the happiness of others, go for it. But I have a problem with the apocalypse prophecy in Christianity. It's like if some parents had like 40 kids and 35 of them turned out really bad, like murderers, rapists, thieves, Scientologists, and then the parents just kill all those kids. But everybody's cool with it, because they were super bad kids. That's bullshit though, if you made those shitty kids, they're your responsibility, and the fact is, you probably raised them to be shitty kids.
So fuck the apocalypse, God made everybody knowing how everybody would turn out, if he's not happy with it, it's his own damn fault. And don't tell me we all have free will, I know that. God gave us free will and he knew exactly what we would do with it.
Everybody should just stop being shitty people, that's the whole point of the apocalypse story.