http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mC2ixOAivA
If you haven't watched Chris Brown's latest music video, Yeah 3X, it's linked above. Or don't because it's really stupid. And if you don't want to watch it out of principle, it's OK, because I'm going to talk about just about all of it right now.
I'll start by saying I already don't like Chris Brown for a few reasons. One, because he hit a woman. More than once, I think, that's just what I remember. Or maybe I just assumed so. Either way, that's really shitty. And two, he hit Rihanna. Rihanna may not be that talented of a singer but she's really hot. And I have beef with anyone that hits Rihanna. So yeah, I hate you, Chris Brown. And if you want any other reason to not like Chris Brown, how about that he's really rich and successful despite being a woman beater?
Needless to say, I wasn't going to like this video from the get go. And on top of all of my bias towards the douche bag, his new song is called Yeah 3x? Really? You didn't want to call it Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, so you thought Yeah 3x would make it sound like a better title? Fuck you several times over, you rich, woman beating faggot.
So now all that's been said, we have a bunch of little kids on an urban street excited to see Chris Brown, as if he's a worthy role model. That's just terrible marketing ethics. And then throughout the video they're singing his song and dancing in the background. And it's a club song about wanting to fuck a girl. And then it gets dark. OK, cool, they've been singing, "Yeah, yeah, yeah," for hours, having a good time. But some asshole decides to open the fire hydrant when it gets dark? Wouldn't that have been a better idea to do that in daylight when it wasn't so cold? Obviously not because Chris Brown looks way better when he's dancing, wet, at nighttime, than in daytime.
I never watch music videos, and this is one of the reasons I choose not to. Because most of them are extremely stupid.
And Rihanna, if you ever stumble upon this lowly blog, I would never beat you.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
SDSU Sesh
It's been 3 years since I was at SDSU full time. I remember being really annoyed all day and hating my classes. I have since changed my major twice (unofficially, too. I really should get on changing it for real), taken a bunch of community college classes, and have now done what I should've done a long time ago, which was study what I really like. So it's official, I'm a television, film and new media major. I'm taking 2 prerequisite classes for that major, where I will watch movies and stuff like that, which will be awesome. And I'm also taking bowling and a Jewish Studies class (and a writing class, but fuck that one, it's stupid). Bowling is awesome, that was to be expected. And Jewish Studies is kind of a wild card. I am one of 8 students in it, at least that's how many were in it our first class session. And the teacher is really cool. However, I took it kind of expecting an easy A class, but we already have a lot of reading, and the syllabus says we have to eventually write a 10-page paper. So I'm thinking it won't be as easy as I thought. But it did give me something to think about.
There are (according to what I remember my professor saying) about 18 million Jews in the world. That is not a lot of people relative to the world population. Yet, they are all over media because they're all funny. And I've come to the conclusion that they just might be chosen by God to do His work. Just a sidenote, "Israelite," means "soldier of God." That's badass. Jews are ballers.
Christians have already made a very strong case to not be ballers. I am walking from my car to my first class today and hear some douche bag playing his guitar and singing. I literally thought, "Oh Jesus, this sounds like some gay Christian worship song." And sure enough, it was some Christian douche bag singing while this other guy handed out a thing for a Christian fraternity.
AND THEN
I was approached twice to be invited to a Bible reading at 1:15 today. I know they're going to approach me, they have that zealous look on their faces, looking around, like, "Alright, who next? This guy, who is clearly ignoring me. But I'll just be super friendly and maybe he'll come talk about the Bible!"
Hey, I don't like people handing shit out to me when I'm clearly uninterested. But when you try and get me to come to a religious meeting twice, I'm gonna be really turned off. Christians, you have enough people to talk about Jesus with, chill with the talking to strangers shit. And don't put your shitty music so readily out into the world, people will think you're a kumbaya fag.
There are (according to what I remember my professor saying) about 18 million Jews in the world. That is not a lot of people relative to the world population. Yet, they are all over media because they're all funny. And I've come to the conclusion that they just might be chosen by God to do His work. Just a sidenote, "Israelite," means "soldier of God." That's badass. Jews are ballers.
Christians have already made a very strong case to not be ballers. I am walking from my car to my first class today and hear some douche bag playing his guitar and singing. I literally thought, "Oh Jesus, this sounds like some gay Christian worship song." And sure enough, it was some Christian douche bag singing while this other guy handed out a thing for a Christian fraternity.
AND THEN
I was approached twice to be invited to a Bible reading at 1:15 today. I know they're going to approach me, they have that zealous look on their faces, looking around, like, "Alright, who next? This guy, who is clearly ignoring me. But I'll just be super friendly and maybe he'll come talk about the Bible!"
Hey, I don't like people handing shit out to me when I'm clearly uninterested. But when you try and get me to come to a religious meeting twice, I'm gonna be really turned off. Christians, you have enough people to talk about Jesus with, chill with the talking to strangers shit. And don't put your shitty music so readily out into the world, people will think you're a kumbaya fag.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I Saw A Guy Last Night With Pauly D. Hair
I just had a Facebook conversation with Ryan Guzman about Jersey Shore, some of you may or may not have seen it. It quickly prompted me to want to write about that stupid fucking show.
Now, let me just say, I've seen very little of the show. I saw the reunion episode of the first season, that's the only complete episode I've ever seen. But from what I gather, it's about normal guidos from Jersey going to clubs and hanging out, hooking up, and coming up with (or just repeating what they've heard in Jersey, I don't know what their culture is like) catchy phrases or buzz words that have to do with clubbing or whatever they do. And of course they're entertaining to watch because they're obnoxious and dramatic and all that. It's like juiced up "The Real World," and yeah, pun intended.
Anyway, last night I went to the Junction where I was drinking with my male friends, complaining about how loud the music was and not trying to fuck skanks with too much make-up on. We were playing shuffle board. And even if we wanted to find some skanks to fuck so that we can try and satiate our insecure egos, there were none. There were middle-aged East County women playing pool. And a girl with her boyfriend that looked like she was twelve. That being said, there was a group of guys in there dressed like they were in a club. And one of them had Pauly D. hair.
Just in case you don't know what his hair looks like, there it is. It looks like action figure hair on a G.I. Joe. And who puts the word "Cadillac" on their body, to remain there for the rest of their life? What if Cadillac goes out of business and in 20 years no one knows what a Cadillac (or Pauly D., by the way) is? He'll be like, "Oh yeah, back in da day, deese cars were da shit. Dey were awesome man, dey stood for quality. So I was like, yeah, I'm quality piece of ass ya know, so I got it tattooed on my side like dat. Did I mention I was a reality TV star? We should knock boots."
Fuck you, Pauly D. And fuck the show, "Jersey Shore". I'm sure not everyone in Jersey Shore is as big of a douche bag as you and the rest of your untalented crew of fuckfaces.
Now, let me just say, I've seen very little of the show. I saw the reunion episode of the first season, that's the only complete episode I've ever seen. But from what I gather, it's about normal guidos from Jersey going to clubs and hanging out, hooking up, and coming up with (or just repeating what they've heard in Jersey, I don't know what their culture is like) catchy phrases or buzz words that have to do with clubbing or whatever they do. And of course they're entertaining to watch because they're obnoxious and dramatic and all that. It's like juiced up "The Real World," and yeah, pun intended.
Anyway, last night I went to the Junction where I was drinking with my male friends, complaining about how loud the music was and not trying to fuck skanks with too much make-up on. We were playing shuffle board. And even if we wanted to find some skanks to fuck so that we can try and satiate our insecure egos, there were none. There were middle-aged East County women playing pool. And a girl with her boyfriend that looked like she was twelve. That being said, there was a group of guys in there dressed like they were in a club. And one of them had Pauly D. hair.
Just in case you don't know what his hair looks like, there it is. It looks like action figure hair on a G.I. Joe. And who puts the word "Cadillac" on their body, to remain there for the rest of their life? What if Cadillac goes out of business and in 20 years no one knows what a Cadillac (or Pauly D., by the way) is? He'll be like, "Oh yeah, back in da day, deese cars were da shit. Dey were awesome man, dey stood for quality. So I was like, yeah, I'm quality piece of ass ya know, so I got it tattooed on my side like dat. Did I mention I was a reality TV star? We should knock boots."
Fuck you, Pauly D. And fuck the show, "Jersey Shore". I'm sure not everyone in Jersey Shore is as big of a douche bag as you and the rest of your untalented crew of fuckfaces.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Old Town Low Down
Most days of my life these days are spent at work. This would be a terrible thing for most people, but I still really like work. I'm getting pretty chummy with a lot of the guys there and I really dig these people. Two of these chums of mine I would like to note are actually illegal aliens. I didn't know at first, one of them went to high school here and the other I knew was from Mexico but it just didn't occur to me that he could be illegal. I guess he came here 8 years ago on a tourism visa and it expired. And for whatever reason, he hasn't renewed it, I imagine it's a pain to do it. But he has no papers, can't drive a car, and can't go past border patrol checkpoints. So he's stuck in San Diego until he gets married. Which almost happened, and not for love, but this girl was going to help him out, just marry him for his citizenship. But I guess the girl turned out to be a crazy lesbian and didn't go through with it. Or something like that.
Reason I bring this up is that Old Town Mexican Cafe is apparently under some type of investigation and they might have to fire any employee without a valid social security number. So that means that a bunch of kitchen people and a few front-of-house employees could have to find another job. Most importantly to me, these two that I mentioned. And I actually don't care that they're illegal with jobs. They're really cool and they're really good employees. Yeah, they're taking American jobs. And yeah, one of them used our country's public education. He dropped out though, so he saved us some money. And on top of that, all of these illegal employees pay taxes and social security, and they won't ever even get to use the social security money when they retire. So they're helping us all out, in a way. And then on top of that, I would be really disappointed if they get fired and their replacements are some douche bags or what have you that I might not like. I kinda think that if people can get by the border patrol, they should get amnesty. Like, "Hey, you win. You're a sneaky motherfucker, go find a job and pay us taxes. That way, we're not letting just anyone in. And so the border patrol people still have jobs and the people getting through the border are probably pretty resourceful people, it's like natural selection.
On a less serious note about work, tonight, one of the cooks saw me eating one of our delicious homemade corn tortillas with chips and salsa in it because I was really hungry but I didn't have a break for a while. So he gave me some fajitas that were a mistake and would otherwise be throwwn away. That was awesome. And then later, I was out back of the restaurant with one of my friends and I saw one of the cooks jump up this cement portion next to the stairs outside. It's pretty high up, the top of the cement is about up to my chin. And I wanted to see if I could jump up there with no hands. So I did, and landed fine, but I totally ripped my pants. And I finished my shift with ripped pants. And now I can no longer procrastinate going clothes shopping.
Reason I bring this up is that Old Town Mexican Cafe is apparently under some type of investigation and they might have to fire any employee without a valid social security number. So that means that a bunch of kitchen people and a few front-of-house employees could have to find another job. Most importantly to me, these two that I mentioned. And I actually don't care that they're illegal with jobs. They're really cool and they're really good employees. Yeah, they're taking American jobs. And yeah, one of them used our country's public education. He dropped out though, so he saved us some money. And on top of that, all of these illegal employees pay taxes and social security, and they won't ever even get to use the social security money when they retire. So they're helping us all out, in a way. And then on top of that, I would be really disappointed if they get fired and their replacements are some douche bags or what have you that I might not like. I kinda think that if people can get by the border patrol, they should get amnesty. Like, "Hey, you win. You're a sneaky motherfucker, go find a job and pay us taxes. That way, we're not letting just anyone in. And so the border patrol people still have jobs and the people getting through the border are probably pretty resourceful people, it's like natural selection.
On a less serious note about work, tonight, one of the cooks saw me eating one of our delicious homemade corn tortillas with chips and salsa in it because I was really hungry but I didn't have a break for a while. So he gave me some fajitas that were a mistake and would otherwise be throwwn away. That was awesome. And then later, I was out back of the restaurant with one of my friends and I saw one of the cooks jump up this cement portion next to the stairs outside. It's pretty high up, the top of the cement is about up to my chin. And I wanted to see if I could jump up there with no hands. So I did, and landed fine, but I totally ripped my pants. And I finished my shift with ripped pants. And now I can no longer procrastinate going clothes shopping.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
My Last Will and Testament (Just In Case)
It may be kinda weird, but my funeral has come up in conversation a couple times, and I just wanted to put it into writing in case something catastrophic happened, and I had to leave this worldly body and move on to the next stage of existence. Before I list my dying wishes, I want everyone to know that I love life and all the people in it, and if I am a ghost, I will do anything I can to do cool ghost stuff, and help you guys out. Like, when I open all the cabinets in your house, it won't be scary, it'll just be when you're looking for something and it will have a productive purpose. And if the Buddhists turn out to be right, I hope I see you all in the next life, as futuristic revolutionaries fighting against Big Brother and his oppressive thought police. And if the Christians turn out to be right, I'll see you all in Hell.
-I wish to be cremated, not buried. And my ashes will be put in something that is not an urn. The coffee can deal in the Big Lebowski was not only funny, but I completely agree with Walter Sobchak. An urn is a way to take advantage of people in mourning and make way more money on those things than they're worth. So in short, put my remains in a shoebox or coffee can or something of the like.
-I wish to be scattered in a couple places. A little bit in Rancho San Diego, on top of a hill would be cool. It's my hometown and I will always love it. A little bit at a beach because I just like the beach. And a little bit at some place really pretty. I'm not picky, just pick a place that's really nice and you guys would think I would like my burned up body to blow into.
-At my funeral, I want my eulogy to be given by anyone who wants to say something. I don't want just one person to have the pressure of giving my eulogy. Also, I want the ceremony to be short. Once it looks like everyone is there, just start the thing and make it quick. For the last part of the ceremony, I want "Trill Niggas Don't Die," by UGK, to be performed by a really big choir. And a full band.
-Once everyone leaves my funeral, my wake will have an open bar and it will be a party. And I want everyone to go and have a good time, don't just go home and sulk about how you're gonna miss me. I would try my damnedest to do the same for you guys.
-All of my possessions will be up for grabs, just take whatever you guys want. And give my PS3 to charity.
-I wish to be cremated, not buried. And my ashes will be put in something that is not an urn. The coffee can deal in the Big Lebowski was not only funny, but I completely agree with Walter Sobchak. An urn is a way to take advantage of people in mourning and make way more money on those things than they're worth. So in short, put my remains in a shoebox or coffee can or something of the like.
-I wish to be scattered in a couple places. A little bit in Rancho San Diego, on top of a hill would be cool. It's my hometown and I will always love it. A little bit at a beach because I just like the beach. And a little bit at some place really pretty. I'm not picky, just pick a place that's really nice and you guys would think I would like my burned up body to blow into.
-At my funeral, I want my eulogy to be given by anyone who wants to say something. I don't want just one person to have the pressure of giving my eulogy. Also, I want the ceremony to be short. Once it looks like everyone is there, just start the thing and make it quick. For the last part of the ceremony, I want "Trill Niggas Don't Die," by UGK, to be performed by a really big choir. And a full band.
-Once everyone leaves my funeral, my wake will have an open bar and it will be a party. And I want everyone to go and have a good time, don't just go home and sulk about how you're gonna miss me. I would try my damnedest to do the same for you guys.
-All of my possessions will be up for grabs, just take whatever you guys want. And give my PS3 to charity.
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